DISCLAIMER
I know not many real people listen to me, but I have an amazing audience of imaginary folks hanging on my every syllable. They know every thought that crosses Kenzie's mind. Be it sad, funny, or a bit rude, they understand and never complain. My stupid mouth gets me in trouble in the real world, but among the imaginaries everything I say is the truth and no one tries to argue. (That's the good thing about imaginary people:) )
But in the off chance a real someone is reading this, someone like you, perhaps, I will try to be witty, clever, and interesting. I may be moody and messy, but for you, Someone, I shall try my best. This could possibly help you figure out the conundrum that is my personality. Good luck :)
Steam.
Sometimes I need to blow off some steam. So I am. I just get irritated about so many little things. I can’t stand it, but I can’t really help it either. So what, I owed you $45? I paid you back! You owed me too, don’t be a girl. Doing nice things for me aren’t really nice if you hang them over my head.
Sometimes I run out of steam. So here I go. I’m only a freshman and fairly certain I want to kill every last school related thing that awaits me. I just don’t want to do anything. Ever. I’m tired.
OK, I’m done whining, really I am.
Now I need to recognize what will be steam to get me through the next few weeks, the summer, and ultimately forever. I have a wonderful Savior who has a given me purpose and hope. Who am I to complain? No one. Jesus is my steam, I know I’ll make it :)
You May Say I’m a Dreamer, but I’m Not.
I’m not hard to please,but I can say, when I find what I’ve been looking for I can’t let it out of my sight for than a moment before I frantically go looking again. Like a nice sea green cardigan, or some really wildly colored TOMS. I saw. I came. I conquered. I feel like Noah from the notebook when he says, ” When I find something I like I..love and I’ve got to have it”. Well, my imaginary friends, I’ve found for what I have been looking. No it isn’t an article of clothing, or something material like that. I mean it almost in the same way as Noah. I’ve found my missing puzzle piece, or at least I feel that way. Used to I could go weeks without seeing…that other person, but I haven’t seen Joshua all day and it’s absolutely killing me. I dream of the day we live back home. Where there’s no curfew, and he can be with me at home always. Home isn’t home with out him. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not.
Even So.
Even though I have to be at class at 8:15 four days a week, even though my sciatic nerve is a wreck, it makes my foot numb, I can’t sleep I’m in so much pain because of it, and I’ll be apart from my best friend for two years…I’m trying to learn to be thankful. That list makes me want to cry every time I look at it. If those are the only things that negatively affect me my whole life, I will be blessed. I can’t be a person who takes all of the negative things a hangs on to them, I need to learn to let it go and be stronger. I need to learn to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord” even when I’m waking up early after a long night to go to Biology, at least I get to go to class. Even when I’m limping up the sidewalk between classes, at least I woke up this morning. Even though I will be separated from the person who keeps me grounded, who uplifts me spiritually, who makes sure I read my Bible, who just all around pushes me to be a better person for God, at least I’ve found someone who is there for me no matter what life throws our way. Even so, Blessed be the name of the Lord. Even so, it is well with my soul.
Just a little snow….please Arkansas? I swear, I’ve been an angel all year!….Ok most of the year, but please, just a little wintery percipitation would make my day :)
That awkward moment when your life slaps you in the face.
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.” Erma Bombeck
Ok, let’s start back at square one.
